Wedded in Sin Read online

A surge of fury washed through him. This boy—this idiot—had Penny’s heart. “What did he do?” Samuel rasped out. “What did he do to hurt you?”

  “He got a maid pregnant. They were wed two years ago.”

  It didn’t take long for him to guess at the rest of the pieces. “Your father always saw you as a girl, so when this wedding that he’d always wanted—the wedding to his friend’s son—when it failed, he decided it was because you spent too much time making shoes.”

  “Mama said that, not Papa.”

  “But it was your father who made the decision. He declared that you would go be a girl. Go to parties and the like. Except he still needed you in the shop. So you worked for him as a shameful secret while your mother demanded that you be a beautiful girl to catch a man. And no one ever—from the very beginning of your life—ever let you just work as you wanted. As a shoemaker.”

  She bit her lip, her breath catching from strong emotion. But he couldn’t tell if it was a sob or a scream. Either way, it didn’t matter. And either way, he still had to point out the illogic of her fury.

  “But you are doing it now, Penny. You have finally found a way to do exactly what you’ve wanted from the very beginning. You are making shoes, you are supporting yourself. You are—”

  “Doing a man’s work,” she whispered. “A girl acting like a boy. I couldn’t hold Wesley’s interest. Every man who has looked at me has disappeared eventually. My father—” Her words choked off. She drew in to herself, collapsing against the table to the point that he grabbed her elbows to hold her up.

  “Your father what?” he pressed. “Penny, this is important. I need to know what your father did.”

  “He called me unnatural. They both did, Mama and Papa. Unnatural. Because I wanted to make shoes.” This last was pushed out on a sob as the tears finally broke free. She collapsed against him and he held her as her body shook.

  Here at last was the source of Penny’s pain. How well he understood this particular nightmare! Friends and family who didn’t understand, who thought you an aberration because of what you loved. Because of what you found fascinating. But whereas his particular demon was unnatural, hers was simply a gift. The gift of being an artist. And as often happened with the lower classes, the artistry took a practical turn. She had a gift for shoes, and that was a marvelous thing.

  He pulled her tighter into his arms. In truth, it was the only way he could support her body, but he didn’t object in the least. He wanted to hold her as she sobbed against his chest. He didn’t speak. He had to wait until she had control of herself enough for his words to make any sense to her. But in time she quieted, and he almost mourned the passing of her tears because she stirred against him, fighting his hold.

  “You know it’s not true, don’t you?” he said into her hair. “You are not the least bit unnatural. And the men who abandoned you were fools. Every last one of them.”

  She didn’t answer. Instead, she got more still, more frozen, and he cursed himself anew. He had said something wrong. Again.

  “Penny, what is it? You must tell me.”

  She spoke so quiet he almost didn’t hear, but he was listening very closely. “You are not a fool.”

  He frowned, not understanding. “Not often. But there are times.”

  He touched her chin, gently urging her to look at him. She did, though the movement was obviously reluctant. “You are not a fool,” she said more strongly. “And you have no desire to lie with me.”

  He gaped at her. How could she possibly have read the situation so wrong? “Of course I want to!”

  Her chin thrust out and an angry glint entered her gaze. “You said you didn’t. You said it clearly less than an hour ago.” And therefore, by extension, he thought her unnatural.

  It took him a moment to think back to when he could possibly have said that. “Good God, Penny, you were trying to kill me at the time! Or run away. If I had told you the truth, we wouldn’t be here now.”

  Her eyes narrowed and he could see she didn’t believe him.

  “Do you truly know nothing about me?”

  The answer was obvious. She didn’t know, which made the situation all the more ridiculous.

  “I can see I shall have to be blunt. And sometimes,” he added ruefully, “blunt requires demonstration.”

  So saying, he caught her hand. She wasn’t expecting it, so he grabbed it easily. The resistance came as he gently forced it down. He was still holding her, so it required that he step back just a bit. Just enough to give room for him to press her fingers against his organ. But she was fighting him. Not out of any understanding, but out of habit. Which meant he had to be stronger than she was. Which meant she landed with more force than he’d intended.

  The impact nearly brought him to his knees. But he measured the pain and groaned at the pleasure. And in time, she stopped fighting, softening her fingers until she had flattened her palm against him.

  Eventually he managed to speak, but the sound was tight as his lust fought with his reason. “Yes, Penny, I want to bed you. I have wanted it from the very first moment I met you. I have created schemes in my head to seduce you. Even when you were trying to claw my eyes out, I wanted to throw you down and take you.”

  He took a deep breath, and in that moment, his body overtook him. Without willing it, he thrust against her hand. She gasped and started to pull away, but she was trapped between him and the table. And he didn’t want her to soften her caress.

  His body trembled, and he released a groan of delight. He saw her eyes widen in shock.

  “You really want me?” She bit her lip.

  He dropped his forehead against hers. “I cannot think for wanting you, Penny. And believe me, that has never happened to me before.”

  He saw a ghost of a smile skate across her face. “I know this is ridiculous. I remember how you schemed to seduce me. But you didn’t really know anything about me then. You were just being a man. And now that we are better acquainted…” Her voice trailed away.

  “You think I will abandon you?”

  She shrugged. “In two days’ time, you have discerned more about me than my closest friends. Than even my family.”

  “Therefore, you think I will run from you. Because you are unnatural?”

  She swallowed, her eyes canting away.

  “That is a fear, Penny, and it is irrational.” Then he pulled her gaze back to his. “I think you’re amazing. Unusual. Beyond strong. Like a lioness defeating all foes as she protects her cubs. Like a waterfall for sheer beauty and power. Nothing can stand in your path, and even though you are falling, you are the winner. The rest of us are reduced to sand against you.” Then he flushed. “And now you have made me poetic, and I am never poetic.”

  She looked at him, her eyes wide, her lips parted in amazement. She still had her hand pressed against him, and it was all he could do not to thrust against her like a dog.

  Her eyes darted about the room, quick and nervous. “This room is not what I expected in a brothel.”

  He struggled to follow her non sequitur. “No. As I said, it is a specialized room.”

  “But there are things we could do here, aren’t there? Things that…would keep me a virgin?”

  Every muscle in his body clenched. He couldn’t think; he wanted it too much. “Penny, do you know what you are asking? Do you know how easily I could lose control?”

  “Maybe I could tie you down. So we wouldn’t do anything that went too far.”

  He closed his eyes and groaned. The images that flooded through his mind nearly buckled his knees. But he didn’t move. Instead, he forced out one word.

  “Why?”

  She took a hesitant breath, the sound both delicate and erotic. He opened his eyes to see her expression better and found instead a woman coyly stepping into her sexuality. And when she spoke, the words were halting, but honest.

  “I want to know more,” she said. “I want to feel more. You are the only one who sees me as a woman.”
r />   “I’m not,” he rasped.

  “You are the only one I know. And you are here. And…” She slowly pressed her lips against his. She was well tutored in kisses from before. And yet this kiss felt innocent, nervous, and so beautiful it was all he could do not to ravage her. So he kept himself still as she pressed her lips to his. And when she pulled back, she finished her words. “I want you to.”

  He nodded, though the motion strained his already tense muscles. His mind was racing, filling with thoughts of what and how and how much. But in the end, he decided on the simplest form of pleasure, the easiest protection for her.

  “Shackle me to that wall.”

  Chapter 14

  Penny jerked at his words, even though she had been the one to suggest it. “You want me to…” She couldn’t even say the words.

  He nodded and pulled away from her. She watched him, seeing the strain on his face, but also the hunger. It was that hunger that thrilled her deep down inside. He lusted for her badly enough that he wanted her to chain him to the wall. The idea was thrilling. So she agreed, her eyes going to the bolts sunk deep into the brick wall.

  He went to the shelves first, grabbing four cuffs. Two had short chains; two were connected by a long chain of at least eight feet. He handed her the lot.

  “Attach the short ones low to the wall. They’re for my ankles. The other threads through the higher bolt for my wrists. It’s so I can move my arms, but not escape the wall.”

  She took them and nodded. She did as he bade while he squatted down and pulled off socks and shoes. Then he hesitated, standing up slowly as he looked at her. “You understand some nakedness is required. Especially if I am to be bound.”

  She nodded, her mouth very dry.

  He began stripping off his coat and neckcloth. “I shall leave my trousers on—”

  “No!” she said. It was more of a cry than a word, so she moderated her voice. “I should like to see all of you. If I may. I should like to…touch you again. If it is all right.”

  His eyebrows shot up such that they disappeared beneath his curly hair. “It shall be more than all right.” He set coat and neckcloth aside before beginning with his waistcoat. “If you are sure.”

  “Yes,” she said with as much breath as she could manage.

  He didn’t seem to hesitate as he stripped out of the rest of his clothing. But as she watched him work, she could see the slow darkening of his skin color to red. He was blushing, and interestingly enough, the blush did not stop at his neck, but spread lower down his torso. He was not a very tan man. His face had a softer, more golden color, but as soon as his clothing pulled away, she could see how pale he was. The candlelight added a warm tone, as did his blush, but all in all, he appeared more to her like marble than man. Sculpted marble in a lean body with dark, penetrating eyes.

  It took her breath away.

  He stood before her, his cheeks tinged red, then he gingerly stepped barefoot to the wall. Without so much as a word, he snapped the cuffs onto his ankles, then one wrist. But he had trouble with the second, and so she stepped forward. Amazing how her body worked without so much as a whimper of direction from her mind. She stood beside him and finished closing the cuff about his wrist, then stepped back to just look.

  He was naked, standing tall before a brick wall, and she could do whatever she willed to him. With him. Right now, all she wanted to do was look. She had seen men without their shirts before. Even in London, an observant girl could see half-naked men. And there was a time that she’d been very observant indeed.

  Samuel was not as bulky as many laborers. His muscles not so thick, but he had a crispness to his form. The muscles seemed longer rather than bulky, but still well defined. In the torchlight, she could see distinct hills and valleys across his body.

  “You get enough to eat, but not much extra,” she said, startled by her own words. That was not at all what she had been thinking.

  He arched a brow and his lips quirked in a wry smile. “Damned by faint praise,” he said.

  “It wasn’t praise at all. Just a statement,” she said. Then she smiled to show that her words had been a tease.

  “Of course,” he drawled. “How silly of me.”

  She nodded, her gaze sliding lower now. His arms had enough chain to hang by his sides, and as her gaze dropped, she saw his fingers twitch. Something else twitched as well: his organ. It was thrust forward, thick and proud. And at the tip, she saw a glistening of moisture. She had no idea it could move like that on its own while the rest of him remained still.

  She meant to look further, to see his long legs, his nicely shaped calves, even take a moment to absorb the shape of his feet. She was a woman who studied feet, and so his ought to have held some interest for her.

  They did not. Instead, her gaze focused on the length and shape of his penis. She saw the dusky red that colored his skin, the thick veins and the smooth mushroom head. She noted the wiry curls at its base, and knew that a little farther back would be his sac.

  Again, her body acted without her conscious intent. She stepped forward, her fingers stroking the smooth expanse of his chest, but only as a polite prelude. She wanted to touch it: his penis. And so, within moments, she let her hand drop until she could caress the smooth top, encircle the thick stalk, and eventually slip her hand beneath to find his sac.

  She listened to his breath as she touched. After the first gasp, his breath rasped out of him. His air came in soft pants and she knew he was holding back a groan.

  “Is this good?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Everything?”

  “Yes.” His answers were tight explosions of breath. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back. She saw the muscles of his stomach ripple, and she decided she liked having him at her mercy like this. Shackled. Vulnerable. While she had the power to do whatever she wanted.

  But what did she want? She didn’t even know.

  “What should I do now?” she asked, her words for herself as much as him.

  “Undress, if you like. This was, after all, about you feeling things. That’ll be hard to do through chemise, corset, and dress.”

  “You want me naked?” The idea was shocking. Titillating, too, but still unnerving.

  He just raised an eyebrow, his silent statement obvious. After all, he was fully naked and chained to the wall. She was still fully clothed. It made sense, she supposed, that she should undress. At least some. So she started unbuttoning her gown.

  The moment she began to work, his gaze riveted to her fingers. Then he took a step forward, only to be jerked to a stop by the shackles. Still, he was able to raise his hands at least, the chains rattling as he moved.

  “Would you like me to help?”

  Her fingers were fumbling, which made sense since her heart was beating so fast. She’d already nearly ripped off a button, and she could ill afford damaging this dress. Especially since it wasn’t truly hers but one of Helaine’s castoffs. So she nodded and stepped within his reach.

  He was very gentle and very efficient. Her gown was sagging on her shoulders within a few seconds. She thought he would brush it off her, but he didn’t. He finished with her buttons then let his hands drop away.

  “You don’t have to. This is completely about what you want—”

  She shrugged out of the garment then kicked it aside. She was standing in corset and chemise, not to mention stockings and shoes. And suddenly, she wanted to take a deep breath. She wanted the restriction against her ribs released. But again, her fingers fumbled too much with the ties.

  “Will you…” she asked, spreading her arms wide enough so that he could undo the laces.

  Again, she was released within a moment. She took a deep breath—finally—feeling ribs, lungs, and blood moving freely. Glorious! She tossed aside the corset and a moment later bent down to unlace her shoes and strip away her stockings.

  In the end, she stood before him in just her shift. It was a long one that covered her
to mid-thigh. Compared to him, she was close to fully covered, but she still felt naked.

  He must have seen her uncertainty. He touched her cheek gently, allowing his finger to stroke across her cheek and then down her neck. “You are beautiful, Penny. You have no idea what you do to me.” Then he flashed her a cheeky grin. “Or perhaps you do. All you need do is look downward. I am completely on display for you.”

  He meant to remind her, gently, that he was as vulnerable as she. More so. But that didn’t seem to make a difference to her racing heart.

  “Samuel,” she whispered. “Is this really wise? I cannot credit that I am doing any of this.”

  He tugged her closer to him, drawing her into the circle of his arms. She felt the chains fall against her legs, heard their rattle, but mostly she knew the tenderness of his touch. “None of this is wise, my dear. But you wanted to feel, and so, please, let me touch you.”

  She nodded, dropping her head against his shoulder. He cradled her face in his hands, letting his fingers flow into her hair as he gently lifted her face. Then he brought his mouth to hers.

  The kiss was perfect. Hard enough to feel his need, soft enough to soothe her nerves. She sank into the kiss, letting the sensations override her thoughts. His tongue thrust inside and she opened to him. He teased her tongue, stroked the roof of her mouth, even half growled against her as she teased, stroked, and growled back.

  He spent forever in that kiss until forever became too long. And at that moment, she pushed her body against his. There was only the thin muslin shift between them, so when she pushed against him, she felt his every response. His skin was flushed hot, his organ pushed insistently at her groin, and just the feel of his hard body against her tightened her nipples to the point of pain.

  His hands left her head to slide down over her shoulders. His mouth left hers to trail kisses along her cheek and jaw. The shift was bound with a simple tie at the neck. It was undone in a moment and he was pushing it off her shoulders. She had a moment’s panic at the idea of losing that last barrier, but it wasn’t strong enough to make her stop. Instead, her breath caught, she gripped the nearest hard thing at hand—the chain between his wrist cuffs—and then he’d pushed the garment down. It didn’t even catch on her breasts, but slid straight down to her waist, where it stopped because her elbows were bent.